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Conflicts are a natural part of family life. When bipolar disorder enters the picture, the issues that lead to conflict often seem highlighted. Effective communication can serve to reduce the volatility of such issues to more manageable proportions.
| Be calm and specific about expectations, feelings, dissatisfactions, hopes, limits and plans. e.g. "Please stop playing the piano so late at night. The rest of the family need their sleep. If you can't stop playing after 10:30 pm, we will put the piano into storage," in contrast to "Stop being so inconsiderate, don't you know.....". | |
| Be calm. Raising one's voice and becoming opening hostile only serve to escalate the conflict. | |
| Give acknowledgement. Too often people try to immediately reassure people in distress which turns out to be far from reassuring. A person in distress is more likely to feel calmer when his or her experience has first been validated by another person. e.g. "I can see why you'd be so upset if you think Billy is going to criticize you again. Let's see if there is some creative, assertive way you can deal with Billy if he does that again," rather than "Don't be so silly, he didn't mean anything by it just learn to stand up to him." | |
| Be brief. Moralizing or going into great detail often leads to the message getting lost. | |
| Be positive. Avoid unnecessary nagging and criticisms. Make an effort to recognize and acknowledge positive attributes, actions of the person | |
| Share information. Children find it particularly difficult to live at home with a parent who has bipolar. They feel confused, afraid, hurt, ashamed as well as unknowledgeable about how to respond to a parent during the illness phase as well as after recovery. An open discussion about the illness can help to give the child some sense of control in an otherwise overwhelming situation. This sense of control helps, in turn, to preserve a sense of inner security. |
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On Being Bipolar
© 2000 - 2005 |